Sunday, April 02, 2006

On Planes & In Automobiles

I recently read about a San Francisco man who filed a lawsuit against American Airlines after his 2-year-old English bulldog died following a cross-country trip in the jet's cargo hold. Terrence Ing claims in the suit that his dog Willie "was vomiting and breathing poorly when he claimed him in the baggage area after the flight from New York to San Francisco landed," writes the Fort Worth Star-Telegram
(free registration). He alleged that airport workers said a veterinarian was called and would arrive in five minutes, but no vet ever showed up, The Associate Press reports. Ing's suit claimed workers would not release the dog, and then took Willie to an off-limits area for about five hours, during which time the dog died.

The Star-Telegram noted that the lawsuit claims the takeoff temperature for Ing's flight was 84 degrees in New York, with the paper adding that AA's policy "for transporting snub-nosed dogs requires that the temperature be 75 degrees or lower, because they can have trouble breathing in hot weather." AA spokesman Tim Smith said he couldn't comment on the case because he hadn't seen the suit, but added "we do transport safely more than 100,000 pets per year." The Department of Transportation investigated the incident when it happened in August 2005, and the agency concluded that "all policies and procedures were followed."

Firstly, shame on American Airlines. You are still having trouble transporting dogs. And that's why I now have a small dog that can fit under the seat, folks. I know that having a toy dog is not for everyone, but take a read of Darlene Arden's Irrespressible Toy Dog and you might find a pint-sized pooch of your dreams. And then TRAIN HIM NOT TO BE A SPOILED BRAT!

If you have a big dog, travel by car or call an airport shipper like O'Brien Animal Transportation in California. They ship big, small and so many that I bet you couldn't name them all. No, seriously, they even transport zoo animals.

I understand a few years back Renee Zellweger travelled by car cross country so her mixed breed dog, Dylan, would be comfortable. Well, it goes to show you that at least she has some brains. Let's be frank, first the White Stripes guy (she looked ridiculous dating him) and next Cheesy Chesnut, country music singer with the big cowboy hat. Does anyone know if he was bald under that big ass hat? I bet he is.

No wonder Michael Douglass ragged on you. Frankly, Michael, I luv ya but you need to keep your mouth shut. My pops always told me you never know what goes on between a couple in their bedroom. So, mind ya business. And besides, is your wife a real angel? I heard a few years ago from some of our mutual friends-yours and mine- who attended your Daddy's birthday party at the Russian Tea Room that your fiance was so obnixous and rude they could believe that you were going to marry her. Since then, they really have NOT changed their opinion of her. Let's only hope she doesn't ruin Mostly Martha, a movie which I loved. Well, she can't be that bad, you do have dogs.

Back to Ms. Zellweger. Renee, I know Hollywood is full of pressure to get a rocker or musician boyfriend, but stay home, hang with your dog and find someone who can support your talent. You were pretty damn good in Cold Mountain. So stop playing the victim. We are all bored with you.

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