Having a Dog with Limited Funds

Six Toe Trouble in Key West

The American novelist Ernest Hemingway lived in Key West for a decade in the 1930s, with his wife, Pauline, and a six-toed cat named Snowball. Although Hemingway divorced Pauline in 1939, Snowball stayed on. Today, about 50 of Snowball's descendants roam the grounds, to the delight of many tourists who visit the Hemingway Home and Museum but not to museum neighor, Debbie Schultz, and the federal government.

Although Hemingway wrote most of his novels in Key West, including To Have and Have Not and A Farewell to Arms, many tourists come just to see the cats. Key West is known as much for its zany festivals and eccentric charm as it is for its cats. Cats arrived in Key West long ago with visiting sea captains, who employed them as shipboard rat catchers. Today, cats wander Key West.

Much of the dispute revolves around the wanderings of Ivan, an orange tomcat born in 2004. Neighbor, Debbie Schultz, who complained about the Hemingway cats is a former official at the local animal shelter who lives four doors away from the museum. According to Schultz, Ivan the cat wreaks another type of havoc on the cat population that lived outside the museum wall. She says that Ivan is an unneutered, macho male cat, that stops by a feeding station she keeps for neighborhood cats and he bulls and pins downs the street cats. She notes that Key West has an ordinance that a nuisance cat can be removed. Although Schultz says she took Ivan to the animal shelter six times, museum representatives "bail him out," each time.

When the museum decided that they did not want Schultz prowling around their grounds to capture their cats her spay and neuter program, she called the USDA.

Opinion: Sounds like a little neighborly revenge. Just remember Debbie, a cat has nine lives but you don't.

Are you still serving the Sugar Pie?

I have never been an Anna Nicole Smith fan. As far as I'm concerned, she is a low class scandal that won't die. Did you ever she the documentary about her family and past lovers. Real white trash. Please know that I do feel bad that her son died and especially how he died. What ashame! But is her grief so overwhelming or important that ET has to report it every single day. I guess ET has no other celebrity news. So, I guess that they continue to bore us with Anna Nicole. If they are going to continue to bore me, serve me up some Sugar Pie. For those of you who don't know, Sugar Pie is Anna's Toy Poodle. I have one question, how is the dog handling the grief of Daniel's death? I'm sure Sugar Pie is grieving quietly and in seclusion. See dogs, do teach us life lessons. Maybe, Anna's old dog can teach her some new tricks

Crowning Glory

In the world of fashionable accessories and luggage, Louis Vuitton, Gucci and Prada scream, whereas Goyard only whispers. Founded in 1853 as a maker of trunks, the Company has outfitted grand dukes, moguls, movie stars and the chien of the elite with luggage over the decades. The Company shuns advertising and employs no well-known designers. The company's low-key approach suggests that to boost brand image, there's an alternate path to the marketing strategy of most luxury companies. Next year, Goyard plans to open a new Paris store for pet accessories, offering such items as a $1,970 collapsible dog bowl. Goyard bags can be monogrammed with initials, colorful stripes or other symbols which buyers may want but it "crowns" luggage for royalty only. Do you think think Queen Elizabeth, Marie-Chantal of Greece, King Albert of Monaco, Princess Michael of Kent will order the water bowl for their dogs? Since I have a Prince Charles and a King Charles, I will most definitely be order one. And yes, I have the papers to prove it. That is our royal lineage.

Mars Cashes in on the Goodlife

Mars Pet Care Co. will launch a high-end pet food brand next month with a slate of in-store promotions and a TV and print campaign. The new brand, Goodlife Recipe, includes a range of cat and dog food and snacks. Marketing for the brand plays up its premium ingredients and mainstream price. Look for Goodlife in supermarkets, mass-merchandise stores, and specialty pet stores including PetSmart, Petco, and Pet Supplies Plus.

Is Jaxx on Crack With Snoop?

Mobile entertainment providers Limbo 41414™ and Media Cartel, Inc., have teamed up with Jakks Pacific, Inc. (NASDAQ: JAKK) and Grammy winning rapper Snoop Dogg for a “Dog Meet Dogg Sweepstakes” to promote JAKKS’ new JPI Pets Snoop Dogg line and benefit the Snoop Youth Football League. Now through January 16, 2007, Limbo 41414 technology will host cell-phone driven text-messaging-based Limbo Auctions featuring multiple Snoop Dogg prize packages, including signed CDs, Snoop Dogg pet products from JPI, and a chance to hang with the Doggfather himself at the third annual Snooper Bowl event taking place on Super Bowl weekend in Miami, Florida.

Perhaps, I missed something... Please write to me if anyone has seen Snoop Dogg's dogwear line out and about on the town. Better yet, write to me if you think Snoop would make a good pet owner.

A Dog's Holiday List

I just got this in the mail from Carol Cusamano, the owner of Cloak and Dawggie. This is her new dog carrier and it is hot. The bag is selling for about $225.00; Call Susan and Zoomies in NYC and tell her I sent you.

In Defense of Britney-

Britney Spears was voted America's worst pet owner by the readers of New York and Hollywood Dog magazines. Give me a break! Britney, a bad dog mama, because she is no longer toting her pooches around the town. Darhlings, priorities change and hers have. Once she toted that dog, Kevin, around; he pissed all over her. And now, she is Paris's new bitch. Have you ever noticed Paris' as a lot of bitches but she can't keep a three-legged dog. Britney History Lesson: For those of you who don't know the history.... Bit-Bit hated Kevin and would always try to bite him. the dog was a better judge of character. Did she get rid of the dog? No, she made a compromise in her marriage and left the dog(s) at home. As I am sure you know, she has two children. So, is going to carry the dog and the babies in her arms together? We saw what happened when she tried to carry a cup of Joe and the baby or was it, Jamba Juice or Red Bull, the drink that she made so popular? Frankly, if she prefers to live her life in the tabloids, she needs Dr. Phil. If she lives in Hollywood, Kaballah seems to be the answer. Oh that's right it; she tried it. And if she wishes come to term with her self-esteem issues, she will check into a private hospital and get the help that she needs. Girl, Kevin gonnna do you in. He's gonna git some of your green with you actin all slutty and stuff. Put some draws on,(that's underwear for all you folks that don't know shit) and watch leave it to Beaver, Dennis the Menance, Patty Duke and Father Knows Best. Then, invite Florence Henderson over for some tea. Discuss what you saw but not on a reality tv show with her.

So I ask you, readers of New York and Hollywood Dog magazine, what do you think of NoTORIous? Tori been pimping herself and that Mimi La Rue, the Pug of hers at every opportunity. And her dog even has ho ho name. Mimi of The Street-think Eva La Rue. She was selling her bitches stuff at the yard sale. NoTo sold Mimi's old shampoo for $20.00 I am sure Mr. Big is rolling over in his grave at her performance, know as Lifetime. Perhaps, there is some reason he only gave you $750,00. Noto, please stop blaming your mother. Okay, so Candy is a freak. Alot of mother's are worse. Look at Joan Crawford's kids. History Lesson: If you don't know, NoTORIous believes that she is the unrecognized pre-Paris plus Tinks. Remember the shirt- My dog can beat up Tinkerbell-(What did I just tell you. And in your defense, Noto, you did make a charity charm bracelet. jewelry But let's face it. You cheated on your husband for a married man with children. Hells Bells Girls. I haven't seen Mimi for awhile either.


___

Shake Some Tail

Thinking about a nice stocking stuffer for a dog lover? Murray Weinstock's Tails of the City is good gift. The CD is supposed to be song's from a dog's point of view but I don't hear no barking yet. Murray is an accomplished musicans and composer and his friends like Phoebe Snow, Joey Stampinato, John Sebastian sing and play their instruments on the CD. Favorite songs are Chase That Ball, Bad Dog and Dog About Town.
www.dogtunes.com

America's Blonde Bombshell Loves Dogs

Did you know Barbie® doll has a dog named Tanner™? This pooch is has a mouth, ears, and tail that move with your help! You can even “feed” Tanner dog biscuits! After the pup goes potty, just clean up with a special trash can and magnetic scooper. Good doggie!
(Forever Barbie at www.barbie.com)

My comment: So, I'm on the phone the other day with the Bob Vetere, the President of the American Pet Products Manufacturers Association and he tells me about Pooper Scooper Barbie. Frankly, I don't fucking believe it. Barbie is scooping up dog shit. No? For those So, I search the web and I find a picture. There is Barbie and she's with her dog. She looks like me: stylish, blonde and scooping up poop except I have four dogs and she only has one.

And last night, I'm watching the news and I see this woman talking about how Barbie is really making a come back. She tells the newscaster that the new Barbie is back to being cool and that she is buying her daughter one. So today, I decide to get the 411 about new Barbie. I call my friend, Cynthia, at Mattel and leave her a message to get me a BARBIE-complete with D-O-G. She's not there so I visit the Barbie website. And who would know that that Barbie is an animal lover. Barbie and her tweenie friends(See, TeenTrendGirls.com) have a lot of dogs. Cocker Spaniels, Maltese, Beagles, and a few mutts. And you can buy the dogs. And the dogs have accessories...like pet totes, toys, food bowls and much more. That is way cool. And what is even cooler, there is a African American Barbie and she has a dog too.

Okay, here's the big Mattel mistake. White Barbie has a yellow lab and Black Barbie has a chocolate lab. Just for your information. I saw the black Barbie on the Target website. But Mattel are you trying to tell me something. Should white people have lighter, colored dogs and black people have darker or black dogs. Would that mean some breeds that don't come in dark colors might not be available for black people? What about people like me- mixed. Would you give me a mutt? I think Mattel should hire me to consult about their Barbie pet line. They need a knowledgeable pet consultant in this area. I think that I could really help. And, if Mattel or their culturally correct consultants read this, feel free to call because I am going to send this post over to your pr and marketing firm. I could use a really fun job.

Sexy dogs buy at Fred Segal

Consider pampering your pooch with Sexy Beast, a hip smelling-line of dog spritzers, sprays and powders. The products launched at Fred Segal last month. Check out the website and watch the great video.

Tangled Up

Jessica Biel was spotted by the US Weekly staff trying to untangle her dog's leash while she was perusing the menu at Le Pain Quotidien in LA on November 17th. (See page 34 of the December 11, 2006 issue) She needs to read the Eating Out chapter of Miss Fido Manners Complete Book of Dog Etiquette to learn how to best eat out with Daisy, her pitbull.

Celebrity Pet Rant and Rave

So, I received an email from NG who gave me a good tip about celebrities and their pets. Check out www.celebritydogwatcher.com. I am hooked. Find out what bubblehead celebrity left her dog in the store? See Jessica Simpson with Daisy. Have you noticed that Daisy never wears a leash and collar or id tags? I think that I need to send Jessica a holiday present for her dog. I am waiting to get the scoop on Foxy Brown and Honey Child. Will their mama goes to jail or do another stint in rehab? Let's just wait and see. You go, Nicole. We love you dressed in your Missoni clothes. I want to know if Missoni makes dog sweaters. IF you know, write me back. I am going to ask those Missoni woman-three generation- and each one is as bad as she wantta bee.

Celebrity Dog Blog

What happened to Celebritydogblog.com? Nothing has been posted since August 2006. I love the site. Visit it so that you can see celebrities with their pampered pets.

North Shore Animal League America's DogCatemy Awards Gala

On Wednesday, Novenber 29, 2006, I hit the red carpet with my English Toy Spaniel, Thames for the DogCatemy Awards Gala. What a fun event! The evening consisted of a good cocktail hour, a great dinner and some fun movies by a few B and C list celebrities. Sorry, Kathy G. no D-list celebrities like yourself. I must admit that most of the movies were too long and many people left right after dinner. By the end of the evening, the room was 10 percent filled. What a shame! But thumbs up to Beth O., Howard Stern's lady love and the organization's spokesperson. In my opinion, her movie was great. It was about the sleeping or should I say, the snoring and drooling habits of her English Bull dog, Bianca.

While at the event, I did an interview with Howard's producer, Lisa G. The interview was played early this week on Sirius. How did I find out that it aired? My old, college friend, Scott Schiable [owner of Quiet Spot (www.quietspot.com)], called from Denver and told me that he heard the interview. He thought that my comment about if Howard were a dog, he would be a Portugese Water Dog, was very funny. I believe this because Howard is lean and can wear his hair short and in tight curls or long and wavy-just like breed does.

PS. Look at Lisa Gastineau of The Gastineau Girls in the picture above. She looks hot. I told her that her daughter better watch out.

Canine Handbags and Other Fashion Faux “Paws”

I must admit-- I dress up my dogs. They’ve been to parties, and have earned their fair share of frequent flier miles traveling in designer handbags. And while I can say proudly that they’re quite fashionable, I’ve never mistaken them for fashion. That’s why I winced when I read Ruth La Ferla’s article “Woman’s Best Friend, or Accessory?” (New York Times, December 7, 2006).

As a dog owner and pet expert, I’m concerned about the cavalier- and I am not referring to the lovable purebred dog- attitude displayed by these pet owners when it comes to the major responsibility of owning a dog. Ladies, your dog is not the newest, Barbie doll marketed for single, 30 year-old plus woman who is in need of a social life. Your canine needs training, daily exercise, appropriate diet and canine companionship. To a dog, size and position matters, and spending too much time in a shoulder bag can interfere with development of normal social skills. And since you covet the stars, talk to Hillary Duff, she recently had this problem with her Chi Chi, Lola. Her prescription was to treat her dog like a dog. Take him out of the bag and walk him on a leash so that he knows his place.

The “nationwide trend towards smaller dogs” mentioned in La Ferla’s article is not without its own problems. Buyers’ willingness to purchase these tiny totes or toy breeds from pet stores or backyard breeders supports irresponsible breeding, resulting in increased incidences of eye, heart, liver problems and other health problems including producing more aggressive dogs. For those interested in how to care for your little dog, I refer them to my dear friend, Darlene Arden’s book, A Guide to Caring For Your Little Dog. (Howell Book House 2006). It is a good start.

La Ferla quotes Robin Bowden as saying of her dogs, “I think of them as a handbag with a heartbeat.” I had to wonder what will become of her dog when the season’s over and this particular style of “handbag” is no longer trendy. Will she shelf it for a more fashionable Rat Terrier, Lowchen or a Bich-Poo? Or maybe she will succumb to the new fashionista trend of selling her last seasons clothes on E-bay to purchase the newest, trendiest fashions. Either way, will this lonely, 40-something pet owner trade-up each season for a trendier breed model-all so she can stay in style and continue to meet new people?

Most of us dog owners, however, appreciate our dogs as more than just style. They are superb companions. It is this social aspect of dog ownership that makes them such a great fit for our lifestyle and our society—they think of us as part of their pack and we think of them as part of our family. So what if we do dress them well or dress them in matching outfits, buy them jewels, feed them gourmet food, show them off at the office on Take Your Dog to Work Day or display their pictures on our desk, and let them in our beds. We do these things because we love them and they become our family, especially for us single, upwardly mobile professionals with little time for a social life.

But herein, lies the problem. Despite all of our anthropomorphizing, dogs are not human beings. And even though they’re covered in fur, leather or lace, they’re not accessories. Unlike a fantastic pair of heels, dogs commit faux “paws”. They bark loudly when the doorbell rings. They potty on the floor at a friend's home. They cause allergic reactions for our office mates. They even, get on people’s nerves. Speak to Jim Breslin about this; he has written on the subject more than once. And although you may not be able to get over Smooshie Poo’s good manners while he sits on the chair next to you at Mercer Kitchen, the couple at the table next to you might find all the kissing less than appetizing. By the way, health ordinances in restaurants are there for a reason. And, I am sure Mercer Kitchen will thank the legally blonde pet owner for the visit from the health inspector today.

And for those of you whose manners have “gone to the dogs”, I believe it’s time for some pet etiquette. Pet etiquette is the art of understanding and behaving properly with your companion. Whether with a pet-owning neighbor, at the veterinarian’s office, or on the city streets, we, as dog owners, have to be well-mannered and model citizens. I recently wrote a book on the subject for that reason alone. The Miss Fido Manners Complete Book of Dog Etiquette will teach dog owners how to behave appropriately in all kinds of situations, making them model pet owners, a good neighbors, an excellent customers, an exceptional hosts, and a welcome guest sat the homes of friends and family. Specifically, dog owners like the ladies in this article will learn how to apply conventional manners (consideration of others, good table manners, gift-giving, being a considerate guest, getting along with co-workers) to life with your dog.

My new book is not a dog-training book. Instead, it explains why learning the right way to conduct yourself with your dog enables you to enjoy each other’s company and share more of your life with your pet. As a socially aware pet owner, this definitive guide can be used as a finishing school primer for your dog.

Please note that I will make sure the first copies of my upcoming book are autographed and sent to the badly behaved dog owners in the article including its writer, Ms. La Ferla.

Miss Fido Manners a.k.a. Charlotte Reed

Give me some Good Karma

My publicist, Amanda, recently sent me a note about this cool pet site. So if you love Frenchies-like my friend, Michael Campbell, owner of Doggie Styles in Beverly Hills- or are just a social conscious dog owner, check out www.gosococo.com. Their Good Karma leashes and collars and tees are just really cool. Think I'll be ordering one today.

To Parody or Piss on

A Las Vegas company called Haute Diggity Dog markets pet toys and trinkets, parodying famous brands in the process. Among the line of products at Haute Diggity Dog.com is “Sniffany & Co., Chewnel #5” and “Jimmy Chew.” Now a judge has ruled that the company can also keep producing Chewy Vuiton dog beds and chew toys, despite a complaint by Louis Vuitton Malletier, also known as LVM. In his ruling, the judge—apparently a dog lover, or at least someone with a good sense of humor—noted, “This dog of a case gave the court a great amount of facts to chew upon and applicable law to sniff out. Nonetheless, having thoroughly gnawed through the record, this Court finds that no material dispute of the fact remains…” Looks like LVM was barking up the wrong tree!

Dog Biscuits For College

Mahaopac, New York resident, Cathy B. wrote to me to let me know that her 13 year old son makes his own homemade dog biscuits. The cookies are made with whole wheat flour, oats, wheat germ, eggs, milk and other natural ingredients. He has sold at fairs as well as at local pet stores. Her son, Chris, is working towards earning his college education. Just a word of advice Cathy: In your sales and marketing approach, let people know that dogs love Chris's cookies.

Holiday Pet Tips and other boring press releases

So, this week, I got a lot of press releases and most of them were boring. BORING. And very Boring. Puppy Hugger sent out a press release that was way, way, way too much language and not enough important content. Okay, so they launched a new website. BFD. What else have they done for pets and the industry lately? Next, Midnight Pass joined the APPMA. I like Brad W. He'd cool. He is like the mad professor of the pet industy always distributing kick-ass stuff for the industry and talking a mile a minute when he gets excited about his new products. High snaps for Brad W. The release listed his Company's accomplishments. Okay. At least, it was substantial listing. And lastly, I got a press release today about holiday pet tips.. What the Fuk. I got a Cancer Treatment Hospital in New York City talking about tips that the average Joe newscaster can write about and report on the news. Get some new pr people. This stuff is important but has seriously been posted everywhere for the last 5 years ago. I will say that of all the tips they provided I did like one that I want to share with you.....especially if you are a bread baker. So if you are baking bread or rolls and not those lame ass crescents like in the tv commercials, take heed from NYC Veterinary Specialists and their most unique tip.

"Bread Dough/Yeast -- Dogs may sneak some bread dough meant for holiday treats. In the process of rising, the dough expands in the stomach and the yeast produces ethanol. This can lead to severe problems including alcohol poisoning, stomach distension and potential torsion."

Oh, yeh and the on another note...the hospital is located across from Alvin Ailey Dance Theatre.

Yahoo Shopping Has New Pet Blogger

Yahoo! Shopping has a new pet blogger for the holidays, and it's me. This holiday season, I recommend buying your dog, cat and/or bird pet toys. Toys are great because they are fun for your pets but they can also provide hours of mental and physical stimulation.
So check out my choice picks at Yahoo! Shopping: http://shopping.yahoo.com/blog/yshoppingblog/457/gifts-for-your-pets

Back To Blogging

Okay. I am back to blogging. My friend, Chris T. is about to kick my you know what because I am have been a lazy lulu but that's what happens when you write a book. Oh yes, my book, The Miss Fido Manners Complete Book of Dog Etiquette (Adams Media 2007) will hit store shelves in July. For my fans, you can pre-order it on Borders or Amazon. And friends, don't be fooled by imitations. For more information as me as Miss Fido Manners, visit www.missfidomanners.com

Her Sweet Sixteen

Now, I must admit at my age, I am a big fan of Vh1's My Sweet Sixteen, a show in which, gazillionaires lavish $1M birthday parties on their spoiled, brat kids. I watched the show this week and I loved the episode about LA Reid's kid, Aaron, having an extravagant birthday party. Although I don't know him, Mr. Reid, seems like a very classy guy. The party was lavish but executed in good taste. Aaron is definetly spoiled by his father's wealth but he seems like a very good kid. Although he didn't get a car for his birthday, he recognized that he got star appearances instead. And that, was priceless. The episode was tastefully done with appearance by P. Diddy, Kanye West and Jermaine Dupri. And it was extraordinary that this trio didn't seem as vulgar as they usually do. What was also exciting was that my neighbor's kid was shown in the episode.

But, I got invited to a sweet sixteen this week too. Not of course in The Reid style. This party has no party planner, just the girl's mother. The invitation is not a deluxe kit but an email correspondence. There is no IPOD containing the voice of the host but a picture of the young lady in a tiara. The party is not set at Jay Z's club 40/40 but in New York City's Washington Square Park. This party is not for a divo but for a bitch, named Vanilla. She is not really sixteen but a two year old Chi-Chi (Chihuahua) and the invitation mentions her latest accomplishment, winning the Glamour Wear Contest at the Barkin 2006 pageant.

Oh boy! I have been writing about pet trends for a year and this really takes the birthday cake. I have had parties for my dogs in the past. Hell, the NYT came to Burberry's last party but I find it too much that someone is throwing a sweet sixteen party for their dog and that we are to celebrate the dog's accomplishments. If she were to finish therapy training and visit patients like Westminster publicist, David Frei's two Brittanys; or she would sniff out cancer like the Brittish research dogs that were written about in the NY Times a few months ago; or she helped find bodies like the Captain Shield's Golden Retriver, Bear, and the other search and rescue dogs at The World Trade Center...then maybe, I would really have something to celebrate but a clothed, beauty pageant for dogs. What would Miss Fido Manners (www.MissFidoManners.com) say...."Bad taste!"

Free Pet Toothbrush

BRUSH AFTER EVERY MEAL: There is a new offering from GloveBrush Corp. They make oral hygiene products for pets, and are now pushing PetsToothBrush, "the next generation in pet dental hygiene." Their product is a patented disposable toothbrush glove for your dog or cat and they're offering a free sample box via their Web site, PetsToothBrush.com.

Prepared Pet Food

IT'S A DOG'S LIFE, INDEED: Nestle Purina Petcare is well aware of how much Americans dote on their dogs, and is wisely creating and then filling a niche that is sure to be a moneymaker. Its Beneful premium dog food line is coming out with Beneful Prepared Meals, and it's exactly what it sounds like: family-style food for dogs made with real beef, chicken, turkey, pork and lamb. The special entrees, including Beef Stew, Simmered Chicken Medley and Roasted Chicken Recipe will go for $1.59 per 10-oz. serving, which is about a dollar more than a can of regular dog food.

Diabetic Pets Need Special Tests

For diabetics, checking blood sugar levels a few times a day is crucial, and it's equally important for the approximately 500,000 dogs and cats that also suffer from diabetes.

Plenty of glucose meters are available for people. Testing sugar levels at home is a pinprick away -- a drop of blood on the meter's testing strip gives an accurate reading within minutes. But it's not so easy for our furry friends.

Pet owners usually make frequent, expensive veterinarian visits to get accurate glucose readings. Or, they use human meters, which are often inaccurate for animals.

So, two companies have developed glucose meters especially for pets. Abbott Laboratories recently launched AlphaTRAK and Animal Diabetes Management, a small private company in Janesville, Wisconsin, sells a meter calibrated specifically for pets.

Abbott Labs' device is the first pet meter to undergo extensive testing. Researchers used blood samples from 452 diabetic and non-diabetic cats and dogs to compare Abbott's pet meter with two human meters. The AlphaTRAK's results were close to the lab test sent out by the veternarian, while the human meters were inaccurate by nearly 40 percent.

Margo Hupe, diabetic herself, used her own meter on her diabetic dog, but found the results were significantly different from lab tests done by her vet's office. So she switched to Animal Diabetes Management's device.

"It made me a lot more comfortable because I wasn't guessing any more," she said.

The biggest risk diabetic pets face is hypoglycemia, or low blood sugar, says Robert Judd, who conducts diabetes research at Auburn University's College of Veterinary Medicine. So if a meter shows an even lower reading, a pet owner could overshoot and give the animal more glucose than they need.

Pet testing is complicated because the distribution of glucose and red blood cells in plasma is different in pets and humans. So the algorithms used in human meters will underestimate the sugar levels in pets, Judd says.

Kris Dahl, a biochemist who develops Animal Diabetes Management's meters, says they change the test strips on human meters and tweak the meters' calibrations to tailor them for animals.

The company has garnered 500 customers without heavy advertising, Dahl says. And with pet waistlines apparently expanding along with their owners', an increasingly large market exists for pet glucose meters.

The Truth Hurts

Don't you just love Sunday Nights? In four minutes, The Sopranos. I must admit it that I do hate the dream sequence stuff. The garbage that we saw two weeks ago. Come on Dave Chase. We had to wait for how many years? Something, like two. Give us all a break. Be a bit more creative. Well, give me a minute. I need to think......After a weak last session, please, restore your creative genius. And besides, let's face it Hollywood. Nobody did THE DREAM SEQUENCES better that the writers of Dallas.

God help us! Did you hear? They are going to make a Dallas movie. Have you seen whom they are going to cast. Okay, big man Travolta is a good call but J.Lo as Sue Ellen and Shirley MacLean as Miss Ellie. Get real. Movie is ruined before it starts. I really don't want to get into now but I could recast that movie in five minutes. I will give you a sampling of my creative talent. Forget Jessica Simpson. Cast Britney Spears in that simpleton role as Lucy Ewing. She needs a break more than ever now. Stuck with Popo. Popajodo. Brit should have listened to her ChiChi, BitBit; it seemed that the Chichuaha liked to bite Kevin. Girl, he is no good. Remember, dogs tell no lies.

Back to pets. Rumors are always-JUICY. Well, I shouldn't say rumors. The truth hurts. I heard a few things this afternoon and this evening. I just want to let you know that I can't give you names, dates or places. Let's just say a pet company Big Time Exec was axed by his overseas boss. A few others fell by his hand before he got the axe but I understand he didn't know it was coming.

Life's a funny thing. You never know when the other shoe is going to drop or kick you in the ass.

On Planes & In Automobiles

I recently read about a San Francisco man who filed a lawsuit against American Airlines after his 2-year-old English bulldog died following a cross-country trip in the jet's cargo hold. Terrence Ing claims in the suit that his dog Willie "was vomiting and breathing poorly when he claimed him in the baggage area after the flight from New York to San Francisco landed," writes the Fort Worth Star-Telegram (free registration). He alleged that airport workers said a veterinarian was called and would arrive in five minutes, but no vet ever showed up, The Associate Press reports. Ing's suit claimed workers would not release the dog, and then took Willie to an off-limits area for about five hours, during which time the dog died.

The Star-Telegram noted that the lawsuit claims the takeoff temperature for Ing's flight was 84 degrees in New York, with the paper adding that AA's policy "for transporting snub-nosed dogs requires that the temperature be 75 degrees or lower, because they can have trouble breathing in hot weather." AA spokesman Tim Smith said he couldn't comment on the case because he hadn't seen the suit, but added "we do transport safely more than 100,000 pets per year." The Department of Transportation investigated the incident when it happened in August 2005, and the agency concluded that "all policies and procedures were followed."

Firstly, shame on American Airlines. You are still having trouble transporting dogs. And that's why I now have a small dog that can fit under the seat, folks. I know that having a toy dog is not for everyone, but take a read of Darlene Arden's Irrespressible Toy Dog and you might find a pint-sized pooch of your dreams. And then TRAIN HIM NOT TO BE A SPOILED BRAT!

If you have a big dog, travel by car or call an airport shipper like O'Brien Animal Transportation in California. They ship big, small and so many that I bet you couldn't name them all. No, seriously, they even transport zoo animals.

I understand a few years back Renee Zellweger travelled by car cross country so her mixed breed dog, Dylan, would be comfortable. Well, it goes to show you that at least she has some brains. Let's be frank, first the White Stripes guy (she looked ridiculous dating him) and next Cheesy Chesnut, country music singer with the big cowboy hat. Does anyone know if he was bald under that big ass hat? I bet he is.

No wonder Michael Douglass ragged on you. Frankly, Michael, I luv ya but you need to keep your mouth shut. My pops always told me you never know what goes on between a couple in their bedroom. So, mind ya business. And besides, is your wife a real angel? I heard a few years ago from some of our mutual friends-yours and mine- who attended your Daddy's birthday party at the Russian Tea Room that your fiance was so obnixous and rude they could believe that you were going to marry her. Since then, they really have NOT changed their opinion of her. Let's only hope she doesn't ruin Mostly Martha, a movie which I loved. Well, she can't be that bad, you do have dogs.

Back to Ms. Zellweger. Renee, I know Hollywood is full of pressure to get a rocker or musician boyfriend, but stay home, hang with your dog and find someone who can support your talent. You were pretty damn good in Cold Mountain. So stop playing the victim. We are all bored with you.

SmartPak

Smartpak, a Plymouth, MA-based merchant that specializes in equine supplies and gifts, launched the 40-page SmartPak Canine catalog at the beginning of March. After the ship, it also launched its Internet store, SmartPakCanine.com.

I wrote about SmartPak late last fall for an article in Pets International. It was called Think Pink, a short article about how fashion, especially the color pink, has trotted into the horse world too. SmartPak supports the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation and designed some horse gear in pink. I hope they let me know if they will be making their horseblanket coats and other gear for dogs in pink.

Good job, Smartpak! Thanks for giving back to the community that supports you-Women!

Lindsay Lohan

Yesterday, I borrowed my neighbor's copy of the NY Post. I couldn't resist. As a celebrity hound, I read Celebrity Living, US Magazine, Intouch and all those magazines the male species deems as just dreadful. But I just had to read about Naomi Campbell attacking yet another maid. Frankly, the story was boring, but I did find out some interesting news about Lindsay Lohan from Page Six of the New York Post.

Poor Lindsay, with her exhaustion, anoxeria, infamous daddy and hee motivating mama manager, who has had to keep an eye on her partying, and of course, those dolts that she chooses as boyfriends. Well, Cindy mentioned that Lindsay talked to her about the utter devotion that Lindsay shows for her dog. So, I am going to send Lindsay a care package of wellness products for her Maltese puppy, Chloe. P

Personally, I find Cindy a bit "dated." And besides, the general public really never got to see Jazzy or know him. Other than her book, which I must admit I have never read, Jazzy is all over New York or is it Juicy this time. Unfortunately, for Jazzy, I do remember Spike and I am sure most people to do. Joan Rivers always spoke of Spike. I met her in Grand Central a few years ago and asked where Spike was. She replied, "Dead! But I got a few other dogs to make me happy!" I expressed my condolences.

Don't get me wrong. I understand the close bond between pet and owner. I did never find out which kennel killed Jazzy. If you know, tell me. But Cindy is good friends with the meticulous Gayle Martz, owner of Sherpa, so she can't be all that bad.

On Global Pet Exp

I just arrived home from the APPMA Global Pet Expo. It was exhausting walking up and down in the San Diego Convention Center. How many footballs fields is that venue? Orlando is better for walking, and I am looking forward to the APPMA utilizing that site next year for another great show. If you don't know, it is very difficult to see it all. I really felt like I needed another two days to see everything. To keep me on my game, I’d best stop indulging in having lunches and dinners with those corporate folks. I should only be hungry for pet products and new product knowledge.

The show was interesting, but I have just a few comments and a few questions.

I had heard APPMA's Bob Vetere was on television promoting products. I am curious—what did he promote? He generally doesn't do that. Perhaps I should ask him, or maybe someone will tell me.

I am always happy to see Bud Most of Iams. He has such energy and always a big smile. Thanks to Iams and my lovely breeders, Diane Boettcher of Dal-bo's cattery in NC and Lynn Knight of Burbrae cattery in MD, my Himalayan Harrison, or Dal-bo's Write-in-Style, is a GC, GP and will be a Northeast Regional CFA Champion. It was also nice to meet Petlane's Lane Nemeth. I have heard so much about her and her pet parties, which are thrown similarly to Tupperware parties. Watch for Lane's continue rise.

Alan Kerzner, formally of Hartz, has been watching the natural product market for years. He predicted quietly to me that this trend is really ready to hit big. I agree with him. Pet Stores will no longer be wary of selling natural products because pet owners will consider natural products a mainstream means to care for their pets. This year, there were a lot of all natural products, especially snacks. And yes, no one really uses the word "holistic" any more. Use the word "natural" – better for sales and not as scary to consumers and customers.

As a writer, I had many people approach me at the show so that they could introduce me to their new, all natural products. But where are these snacks coming from? Before retailers buy, they need to ask that question so that they can assess the quality of the manufacturing. If you want to learn more about all natural products, talk to Halo's Andi Brown and Susan Weiss from Ark Naturals. Andi writes a column in New York Dog and Hollywood magazines that is quite good. And Susan is always telephone-ready. I also want to thank Andi's staff; they fed my dog, Thames, and he loved the Spot's Stew.

Secondly, innovation was at a minimum. I very rarely hit the new product showcase first. I like to see if I am up to the challenge of finding the new products myself. I found a few and will be writing about them in an article for American Express Publishing this week, as well as posting them in a press release which will be distributed at the beginning of next week of Profnet.

Thirdly, tech is back. A few years ago, all the media was writing about was all the high-tech pet products. Well, guys and dolls, start writing about it again. There are some very interesting products, especially self-cleaning cat litter boxes. Today's self-cleaning litter box is round shaped. I was very impressed by the Cat Genie. Can you believe this? The Cat Genie uses a plastic-type litter and it is really self-cleaning. First, it rakes and scoops the waste. Urine streams to the bottom of the unit. Then, water and sanitizer clean the "litter." This new litter is then blown dry. I only wish that I could find an invention that could clean my toilet with such thoughtfulness. Did I forget to mention that you have to attach a water supply and the toilet pipes to this new invention.

As a pet trend watcher, I try to read as many books and magazines and watch as much TV as possible. So, since being back home in NYC, I watched the Today Show and Good Morning America. Could these shows find someone who really knows about pet products? Here's a hint to the young ladies who demonstrate the products. If you are going to be showing pet products on television, mention the manufacturer’s name! For example, on Good Morning America, did the viewer know that the Quick Control Collar was a Bamboo Pet Product? And also, let the Today Show know that you are working for a particular company and that you will be showing their products. Don't get me wrong, I like XXXX products, but was it necessary to show two of them when there were so many other products that were just as innovative? The self-cleaning litter was box was better than the other product that she showed. All in all, I hope that Animal Haven got some calls about their pets. They are quickly becoming the NYC animal hot charity. Bid-A-Wee and the ASPCA should watch out and learn! Marcello and his staff are lovely. Please help them by donating money, products and your time.

Lastly, caution to all Little Red Riding Hoods out there. Central Pet and Garden, what a big booth you had! I am so curious as to what else are you going to buy this year. I almost lost count of all the companies that you have devoured. On a more interesting note, we are all curious as to how you are going to restructure and run your big empire. Can't wait for that chapter to begin. Please put me on your press list.

On a pleasant note, last night I watched Quincy Yu of Sea-Yu Enterprises hawk her odor eliminator product on QVC. Good job, Quincy. Now, watch out! You and Dennis, your co-owner and husband, may be gobbled up by a big company one day.